Jesus

I tried to think of a better title. I really, really did. But after such a victorious battle against creationism today (this blog destroyed all personal barriers with 370 hits, compared to 90 hits of my previous record), something had to ruin it.

That something would be my mom.

Being under the age of 18, I still live with my parents, and like any rebellious teen I want to leave. But that’s a bit irrelevant. Anyhoo, even though I’m a perfectly down to Earth and nice fellow (sans my lack of religion), my parents seem to think that I’m a devil incarnate for various reasons. Notably my air of superiority over them for their belief and my lack there of (note: it’s presumed, I don’t care if they have faith or not and get along well with many people of faith).

Like most teenagers aren’t willing to admit: I love my parents! I’ve been with dad my whole life, we’re inseparable (even with our once-constant debates), and my mom is the only person I can really have fun with around here (other than my nephew). So there’s no ‘I hate you mom and dad!’ bullshit drama here. We’ve got overall good relations in every aspect but one: religion.

This is a major stumbling block for us, because thanks to my lack of religion, I see things as they are in the world. I see science in action and love it. I see music as something to be enjoyed and not something that is evil or good. I see things as any compassionate human should: how they are. There are homosexuals (and I believe I count as one of them, even) who should be able to marry and have children of their own, whether by adoption or by artificial means.

Sometimes, emotions run high. Mom and dad, even though claiming to understand, try to convert me. Here’s the conversation I shared with my mom mere minutes ago:

Her: Raul [teacher's assistant] gave me this website to go to…

Me: Uh-huh?

Her: It’s… www.godtube.com and it’s called a letter to hell.

So this is where things predictably started to fly out of control. Of course if you deal with this a lot, as I do, the best thing to do is to make fun of it to shut them up about it. It’s really — really — the only thing that works.

Me: I’ve been there before! It’s so funny! I even have it book marked, I love the ending!

*proceeds to repeat the words “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT JESUS?!” over and over*

Then, I felt like an ass. But that was sort of bitter sweet thereafter.

*mom’s eyes look teary*

Her: You think you know more than us — everything.

Me: Um. Not really…

Her: Mark my words: there is a Jesus.

See how that works? OK, my next thought was along the lines of;

Yeah, I’ll remember it since I get this speech every other day from you and twice a day from dad.

Walking away I felt sort of annoyed that I had done that and nearly made mom cry. But then I thought, oh wait, I didn’t do shit. I came downstairs to see my mom (who goes to sleep at like 7:00 PM, like now) and first thing she starts a fight out of ‘concern.’ Not only that, she proceeds to tell me that I don’t know everything (which I agree with) and that there is a Jesus (which I don’t). The obvious thing to point out may be, in fact, that I just wanted to see someone I love and then I get preached to for no apparent reason.

It… never gets any easier.

She also said something about not knowing how to get saved (I’m thinking, “don’t you just telepathically tell a jewish zombie that you accept him as your savior to remove all traces of sin from your body?”) and making fun of people who do. Right.

I may be gone from tomorrow to Wednesday. So I’ll see you on Wednesday I guess!